I’m Writing This to Get Laid

 

My Prowess

I get a lot done most days. I wake up and check my email, make plans and schedule appointments as necessary, check out the blogosphere to see what’s happened in the world since I went to sleep. I’ll then get to work on whatever it is that’s occupying my time that week; a new ebook or guest blogs or design work or whatever. I usually try to have something social to do later in the day, be it a coffee date with a friend or Thai food with some colleagues.

And every single thing I do in a day is done for one reason: sex.

Sure, that’s not the ONLY reason, but it’s definitely the underlying motivation, whether consciously or unconsciously. And you’re not off the hook here; you’re doing the same thing, Casanova.

Your Prowess

But before you get your Protestant panties in a knot, you should know that this is not the result of modern morality or rap music, it’s actually a scientific principal called the biological imperative, which essentially means that the meaning of life and the purpose behind every action a living organism performs is to perpetuate its existence. In every critter we know about, from human beings down to amoeba, perpetuation means passing on your unique genetic code to the next generation. In order to do this, you have to survive and thrive, getting to the point where you can, ahem, pass on your DNA, which makes sure that your nucleotides are still represented when you croak.

So when you write that literary masterpiece or cook a meal or sleep in or tie your shoes or go to college or learn to dance or build the Arc de Triumphe, your most basic, root-level motivation is to get recognition or provide for others or sustain yourself or fit in with society or display your achievements so that you can make babies and be a part of the competition that is evolution.

You’re thinking “Sure Colin, that’s interesting, and the title of this post is kind of funny, but why does this matter? Did you just want to have an excuse to say ‘make babies’ and ‘nucleotides’ in the same argument?”

Indecent Proposition

Of course I wanted to grab your attention with a topic that’s a little out of the ordinary, and being able to mix sexual references with biological terms is an added bonus, but there actually is a practical purpose behind all of this (other than the obvious one, that is).

Understanding your motivation is incredibly important if you want to achieve your maximum potential. Being aware of why you do things can help you set better goals, make more intelligent decisions and more easily choose a path that will take you where you want to go.

It’s great that you are able to write the next big American novel, but if all you really want to do is work as a pediatrician, why are you wasting your time with all that typing? Is spending all that effort on a deviation from what you really care about going to make you happy, simply because it’s what others would kill to do? Probably not.

Nailing Bad Habits

Being aware of your motivations can also help you break bad habits. I used to bite my nails constantly; they were always jagged little nubbins because of it, and they looked and felt really bad. I wanted to stop, but every time I would try, I would end up forgetting…quitting simply wasn’t important enough to really focus on.

Then, I started playing the guitar. In order to strum and pluck correctly, I couldn’t have really flimsy, fractured fingernails, so I stopped. Cold turkey. Learning to play guitar was a big deal for me, and I’m sure you can already guess that a big part of why I wanted to learn led directly back to wanting to impress girls. I was aware of this motivation and knowing what I was working toward allowed me to easily leave the nail biting behind me (sex trumps laziness every time).

Call to (Getting) Action

Take a look at your own habits and goals and figure out the main motivation behind them (they will all eventually lead back to reproduction, but you don’t have to go that far back if you want something more immediate to act on). Figure out what it is that makes you want to do what you do. If you find that your life is currently going a different direction than where you want to end up, it’s time for a change.

And from what I hear, both guys and girls love a person who knows where they’re going in life.

89 comments

  1. While I agree that it often boils down to sex as a very motivating factor (very. VERY.) in many/most human endeavors I just cannot believe that it is the be all and end all. I’m sure there were many Castrati in this world who aspired to greatness after being derived of their sex drive, to give one example.

    I can’t knock your arousing argument (pun intended) but this biological imperative reminds me of evolutionary psychology, a very touchy field that gave me the bitter aftertaste of “fate” on my tongue.

    Your point, however, is well made. And makes for a great pick-up line.

  2. While I agree that it often boils down to sex as a very motivating factor (very. VERY.) in many/most human endeavors I just cannot believe that it is the be all and end all. I’m sure there were many Castrati in this world who aspired to greatness after being derived of their sex drive, to give one example.

    I can’t knock your arousing argument (pun intended) but this biological imperative reminds me of evolutionary psychology, a very touchy field that gave me the bitter aftertaste of “fate” on my tongue.

    Your point, however, is well made. And makes for a great pick-up line.

  3. While I agree that it often boils down to sex as a very motivating factor (very. VERY.) in many/most human endeavors I just cannot believe that it is the be all and end all. I’m sure there were many Castrati in this world who aspired to greatness after being derived of their sex drive, to give one example.

    I can’t knock your arousing argument (pun intended) but this biological imperative reminds me of evolutionary psychology, a very touchy field that gave me the bitter aftertaste of “fate” on my tongue.

    Your point, however, is well made. And makes for a great pick-up line.

  4. Okay that picture just made me giggle out loud at work. Oops.

    You make a great point in this post. Although I wouldn’t say it all comes down to sex I think that many of the things I do are motivated by making myself a more interesting/awesome person and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want the boys to notice that.

    And wise call on the guitar thing…guitars are like kryptonite to girls (well, at least me).

  5. Okay that picture just made me giggle out loud at work. Oops.

    You make a great point in this post. Although I wouldn’t say it all comes down to sex I think that many of the things I do are motivated by making myself a more interesting/awesome person and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want the boys to notice that.

    And wise call on the guitar thing…guitars are like kryptonite to girls (well, at least me).

  6. I guess since I already “passed on my DNA”, that what really motivates me now, is to attempt to make this world a little better for all those that I touch (not literally). Also I can not wait to be able to play the guitar at a level that will allow me to play in front of others. :)

    Thanks for the awesome post.

  7. I guess since I already “passed on my DNA”, that what really motivates me now, is to attempt to make this world a little better for all those that I touch (not literally). Also I can not wait to be able to play the guitar at a level that will allow me to play in front of others. :)

    Thanks for the awesome post.

  8. I guess since I already “passed on my DNA”, that what really motivates me now, is to attempt to make this world a little better for all those that I touch (not literally). Also I can not wait to be able to play the guitar at a level that will allow me to play in front of others. :)

    Thanks for the awesome post.

  9. I guess since I already “passed on my DNA”, that what really motivates me now, is to attempt to make this world a little better for all those that I touch (not literally). Also I can not wait to be able to play the guitar at a level that will allow me to play in front of others. :)

    Thanks for the awesome post.

  10. What do you think of the proposition that many of us are now driven to propogate memes sometimes to the detriment of propogating our genes? I think humans have reached a stage where memes are just as important in driving our behaviour.

    When I started playing guitar I can’t deny that part of the reason was to be cooler (get attention from girls). But the funny thing is that some of the girls I’ve been with didn’t really care for my guitar playing. It seems that on the whole my playing only attracts other guitar players LOL! Luckily I play guitar primarily for my own enjoyment!

    So that’s another lesson. Sometimes your actions won’t get you the results you thought you would get. You have to recognise when that is happening so that you don’t do the same thing over and over expecting different results.

  11. What do you think of the proposition that many of us are now driven to propogate memes sometimes to the detriment of propogating our genes? I think humans have reached a stage where memes are just as important in driving our behaviour.

    When I started playing guitar I can’t deny that part of the reason was to be cooler (get attention from girls). But the funny thing is that some of the girls I’ve been with didn’t really care for my guitar playing. It seems that on the whole my playing only attracts other guitar players LOL! Luckily I play guitar primarily for my own enjoyment!

    So that’s another lesson. Sometimes your actions won’t get you the results you thought you would get. You have to recognise when that is happening so that you don’t do the same thing over and over expecting different results.

  12. What do you think of the proposition that many of us are now driven to propogate memes sometimes to the detriment of propogating our genes? I think humans have reached a stage where memes are just as important in driving our behaviour.

    When I started playing guitar I can’t deny that part of the reason was to be cooler (get attention from girls). But the funny thing is that some of the girls I’ve been with didn’t really care for my guitar playing. It seems that on the whole my playing only attracts other guitar players LOL! Luckily I play guitar primarily for my own enjoyment!

    So that’s another lesson. Sometimes your actions won’t get you the results you thought you would get. You have to recognise when that is happening so that you don’t do the same thing over and over expecting different results.

  13. It isn’t really that you would be aware of the imperative, but that it motivates all human endeavour. The impulse to master activities is more basic than knowing of what will be successful: some will master completely useless, from a natural selection point of view, skills. They may turn out to be very valuable in time, in scientific or artistic fields. Others will be acclaimed even though their skills might actually be completely useless in terms of contribution to society.

    The particular activity that we latch onto will be influenced by our surroundings or even by chance, or by compulsions, but the drive to achieve has its origin in the behviours, or propensity for certain patterns of behaviour, that have been established in our brains over millions of years.

    That doesn’t mean that you can’t “game” this drive by harnessing it for something useful. It just means that, regardless of individual sexual drive, we are all striving to achieve for one basic reason: to reproduce.

  14. It isn’t really that you would be aware of the imperative, but that it motivates all human endeavour. The impulse to master activities is more basic than knowing of what will be successful: some will master completely useless, from a natural selection point of view, skills. They may turn out to be very valuable in time, in scientific or artistic fields. Others will be acclaimed even though their skills might actually be completely useless in terms of contribution to society.

    The particular activity that we latch onto will be influenced by our surroundings or even by chance, or by compulsions, but the drive to achieve has its origin in the behviours, or propensity for certain patterns of behaviour, that have been established in our brains over millions of years.

    That doesn’t mean that you can’t “game” this drive by harnessing it for something useful. It just means that, regardless of individual sexual drive, we are all striving to achieve for one basic reason: to reproduce.

  15. It isn’t really that you would be aware of the imperative, but that it motivates all human endeavour. The impulse to master activities is more basic than knowing of what will be successful: some will master completely useless, from a natural selection point of view, skills. They may turn out to be very valuable in time, in scientific or artistic fields. Others will be acclaimed even though their skills might actually be completely useless in terms of contribution to society.

    The particular activity that we latch onto will be influenced by our surroundings or even by chance, or by compulsions, but the drive to achieve has its origin in the behviours, or propensity for certain patterns of behaviour, that have been established in our brains over millions of years.

    That doesn’t mean that you can’t “game” this drive by harnessing it for something useful. It just means that, regardless of individual sexual drive, we are all striving to achieve for one basic reason: to reproduce.

  16. It isn’t really that you would be aware of the imperative, but that it motivates all human endeavour. The impulse to master activities is more basic than knowing of what will be successful: some will master completely useless, from a natural selection point of view, skills. They may turn out to be very valuable in time, in scientific or artistic fields. Others will be acclaimed even though their skills might actually be completely useless in terms of contribution to society.

    The particular activity that we latch onto will be influenced by our surroundings or even by chance, or by compulsions, but the drive to achieve has its origin in the behviours, or propensity for certain patterns of behaviour, that have been established in our brains over millions of years.

    That doesn’t mean that you can’t “game” this drive by harnessing it for something useful. It just means that, regardless of individual sexual drive, we are all striving to achieve for one basic reason: to reproduce.

  17. Phew. I didn’t think a post by you would make me blush. But it happened. Congrats. I am certainly more productive (not re-) when single, and perhaps your argument in regards to evolutionary needs has some validity. But let’s be real, Colin, how much of that drive is really evolutionary? I would argue my bending over to tie my shoes has nothing to do with any “evolutionary” need for sex.

    Thanks for another gem of a post. Cheers to another awkward night of productivity and good luck in your pursuit :)

  18. Phew. I didn’t think a post by you would make me blush. But it happened. Congrats. I am certainly more productive (not re-) when single, and perhaps your argument in regards to evolutionary needs has some validity. But let’s be real, Colin, how much of that drive is really evolutionary? I would argue my bending over to tie my shoes has nothing to do with any “evolutionary” need for sex.

    Thanks for another gem of a post. Cheers to another awkward night of productivity and good luck in your pursuit :)

  19. Phew. I didn’t think a post by you would make me blush. But it happened. Congrats. I am certainly more productive (not re-) when single, and perhaps your argument in regards to evolutionary needs has some validity. But let’s be real, Colin, how much of that drive is really evolutionary? I would argue my bending over to tie my shoes has nothing to do with any “evolutionary” need for sex.

    Thanks for another gem of a post. Cheers to another awkward night of productivity and good luck in your pursuit :)

  20. Phew. I didn’t think a post by you would make me blush. But it happened. Congrats. I am certainly more productive (not re-) when single, and perhaps your argument in regards to evolutionary needs has some validity. But let’s be real, Colin, how much of that drive is really evolutionary? I would argue my bending over to tie my shoes has nothing to do with any “evolutionary” need for sex.

    Thanks for another gem of a post. Cheers to another awkward night of productivity and good luck in your pursuit :)

  21. Whew, I’m so glad that most people got the point and took this in as intended (tongue firmly in cheek, metaphor forward)!

    @Laura C: Thanks for the pun :) Your point is also well-made, however, and the biological imperative actually has a whole lot more to it, especially once you bring society and the other complications of civilization into it. I simplified to make the point about motivations, however, and I certainly hope I didn’t offend any of the noble Castrati out there!

    @Stephanie: Glad you liked the photo…I hard a hard time choosing between that one (from shortly after I moved to LA right after college) and an illustration with a caveman being affectionate to a robot. I think I hope I chose the right one in the end! The idea that everything comes down to sex is an oversimplification, but any time I take the time to really trace the full motivation of something that I’m doing, I am shocked by how frequently there isn’t really any explanation.

    @Mark: Thanks for the comment, Mark! Very good point, too, and something NomadicNeil did a good job at bringing up in his comment. More on that in a second.

    @Alan: Thanks Alan! It’s good to keep your priorities in line, I say.

    @NomadicNeil: I’m SUPER glad that someone brought this up, because it is something I ended up taking out of the article (since the sex part was really just a vehicle for the motivation discussion, it didn’t seem prudent to get to deep into the specifics of how the biological imperative has changed because of society), so thanks for doing me a solid here and making sure that no one goes without!

    I personally think that we as humans have taken to spreading memes (roughly a single or set of cultural ideas, symbols and practices that are communicated orally, through music, through blogs, etc) just as we spread out DNA, and in a way, the two things are very similar. Ideas have become just as or more influential in how a person turns out as pure genetic code, and changing the world with your concepts (and keeping yourself alive by doing so, at least in spirit) is much easier to do the more we evolve our communication technologies and habits.

    So yeah, I could say ‘I’m Writing This to Spread My Memes,’ which would be more salacious in a way (does sound kind of dirty…), but I don’t know that the message would have been as strong (though I might hang on to that one for a future post anyway!).

    Man, I love my guitar, now. It definitely started out as a ‘oohhh, this will make me cool’ kind of thing, but for the past several years I’ve only played it while alone…kind of a private, fun, de-stressing activity.

  22. Whew, I’m so glad that most people got the point and took this in as intended (tongue firmly in cheek, metaphor forward)!

    @Laura C: Thanks for the pun :) Your point is also well-made, however, and the biological imperative actually has a whole lot more to it, especially once you bring society and the other complications of civilization into it. I simplified to make the point about motivations, however, and I certainly hope I didn’t offend any of the noble Castrati out there!

    @Stephanie: Glad you liked the photo…I hard a hard time choosing between that one (from shortly after I moved to LA right after college) and an illustration with a caveman being affectionate to a robot. I think I hope I chose the right one in the end! The idea that everything comes down to sex is an oversimplification, but any time I take the time to really trace the full motivation of something that I’m doing, I am shocked by how frequently there isn’t really any explanation.

    @Mark: Thanks for the comment, Mark! Very good point, too, and something NomadicNeil did a good job at bringing up in his comment. More on that in a second.

    @Alan: Thanks Alan! It’s good to keep your priorities in line, I say.

    @NomadicNeil: I’m SUPER glad that someone brought this up, because it is something I ended up taking out of the article (since the sex part was really just a vehicle for the motivation discussion, it didn’t seem prudent to get to deep into the specifics of how the biological imperative has changed because of society), so thanks for doing me a solid here and making sure that no one goes without!

    I personally think that we as humans have taken to spreading memes (roughly a single or set of cultural ideas, symbols and practices that are communicated orally, through music, through blogs, etc) just as we spread out DNA, and in a way, the two things are very similar. Ideas have become just as or more influential in how a person turns out as pure genetic code, and changing the world with your concepts (and keeping yourself alive by doing so, at least in spirit) is much easier to do the more we evolve our communication technologies and habits.

    So yeah, I could say ‘I’m Writing This to Spread My Memes,’ which would be more salacious in a way (does sound kind of dirty…), but I don’t know that the message would have been as strong (though I might hang on to that one for a future post anyway!).

    Man, I love my guitar, now. It definitely started out as a ‘oohhh, this will make me cool’ kind of thing, but for the past several years I’ve only played it while alone…kind of a private, fun, de-stressing activity.

  23. Whew, I’m so glad that most people got the point and took this in as intended (tongue firmly in cheek, metaphor forward)!

    @Laura C: Thanks for the pun :) Your point is also well-made, however, and the biological imperative actually has a whole lot more to it, especially once you bring society and the other complications of civilization into it. I simplified to make the point about motivations, however, and I certainly hope I didn’t offend any of the noble Castrati out there!

    @Stephanie: Glad you liked the photo…I hard a hard time choosing between that one (from shortly after I moved to LA right after college) and an illustration with a caveman being affectionate to a robot. I think I hope I chose the right one in the end! The idea that everything comes down to sex is an oversimplification, but any time I take the time to really trace the full motivation of something that I’m doing, I am shocked by how frequently there isn’t really any explanation.

    @Mark: Thanks for the comment, Mark! Very good point, too, and something NomadicNeil did a good job at bringing up in his comment. More on that in a second.

    @Alan: Thanks Alan! It’s good to keep your priorities in line, I say.

    @NomadicNeil: I’m SUPER glad that someone brought this up, because it is something I ended up taking out of the article (since the sex part was really just a vehicle for the motivation discussion, it didn’t seem prudent to get to deep into the specifics of how the biological imperative has changed because of society), so thanks for doing me a solid here and making sure that no one goes without!

    I personally think that we as humans have taken to spreading memes (roughly a single or set of cultural ideas, symbols and practices that are communicated orally, through music, through blogs, etc) just as we spread out DNA, and in a way, the two things are very similar. Ideas have become just as or more influential in how a person turns out as pure genetic code, and changing the world with your concepts (and keeping yourself alive by doing so, at least in spirit) is much easier to do the more we evolve our communication technologies and habits.

    So yeah, I could say ‘I’m Writing This to Spread My Memes,’ which would be more salacious in a way (does sound kind of dirty…), but I don’t know that the message would have been as strong (though I might hang on to that one for a future post anyway!).

    Man, I love my guitar, now. It definitely started out as a ‘oohhh, this will make me cool’ kind of thing, but for the past several years I’ve only played it while alone…kind of a private, fun, de-stressing activity.

  24. Whew, I’m so glad that most people got the point and took this in as intended (tongue firmly in cheek, metaphor forward)!

    @Laura C: Thanks for the pun :) Your point is also well-made, however, and the biological imperative actually has a whole lot more to it, especially once you bring society and the other complications of civilization into it. I simplified to make the point about motivations, however, and I certainly hope I didn’t offend any of the noble Castrati out there!

    @Stephanie: Glad you liked the photo…I hard a hard time choosing between that one (from shortly after I moved to LA right after college) and an illustration with a caveman being affectionate to a robot. I think I hope I chose the right one in the end! The idea that everything comes down to sex is an oversimplification, but any time I take the time to really trace the full motivation of something that I’m doing, I am shocked by how frequently there isn’t really any explanation.

    @Mark: Thanks for the comment, Mark! Very good point, too, and something NomadicNeil did a good job at bringing up in his comment. More on that in a second.

    @Alan: Thanks Alan! It’s good to keep your priorities in line, I say.

    @NomadicNeil: I’m SUPER glad that someone brought this up, because it is something I ended up taking out of the article (since the sex part was really just a vehicle for the motivation discussion, it didn’t seem prudent to get to deep into the specifics of how the biological imperative has changed because of society), so thanks for doing me a solid here and making sure that no one goes without!

    I personally think that we as humans have taken to spreading memes (roughly a single or set of cultural ideas, symbols and practices that are communicated orally, through music, through blogs, etc) just as we spread out DNA, and in a way, the two things are very similar. Ideas have become just as or more influential in how a person turns out as pure genetic code, and changing the world with your concepts (and keeping yourself alive by doing so, at least in spirit) is much easier to do the more we evolve our communication technologies and habits.

    So yeah, I could say ‘I’m Writing This to Spread My Memes,’ which would be more salacious in a way (does sound kind of dirty…), but I don’t know that the message would have been as strong (though I might hang on to that one for a future post anyway!).

    Man, I love my guitar, now. It definitely started out as a ‘oohhh, this will make me cool’ kind of thing, but for the past several years I’ve only played it while alone…kind of a private, fun, de-stressing activity.

  25. Careful col, you go down this route of presuming life is just about one thing and eventually you will discover Freud and then you will be thinking that all motivations is based on sexual tension towards your mother and jealousy of your father.

    The blog title was awesome though.

  26. Careful col, you go down this route of presuming life is just about one thing and eventually you will discover Freud and then you will be thinking that all motivations is based on sexual tension towards your mother and jealousy of your father.

    The blog title was awesome though.

  27. Careful col, you go down this route of presuming life is just about one thing and eventually you will discover Freud and then you will be thinking that all motivations is based on sexual tension towards your mother and jealousy of your father.

    The blog title was awesome though.

  28. Careful col, you go down this route of presuming life is just about one thing and eventually you will discover Freud and then you will be thinking that all motivations is based on sexual tension towards your mother and jealousy of your father.

    The blog title was awesome though.

  29. @Dave: Very well said, Dave. You clearly have a very solid understanding of the concept!

    @Kristin: Haha, well I’m glad I could impact my readers on multiple levels :) Your argument has merit, certainly, but I would retort that anything that’s done to flirt still has evolutionary roots…the intent is the same, but the actions themselves adapt with whatever is appropriate (or in some cases, inappropriate!) for that time and place. What is scandalous flirting for an Amish person in the Midwest might come across as very tame or not flirting at all to an agnostic college student in Jersey.

    @Jonny: Haha, another good point. Absolutes are dangerous, and I presented this post as I did to make an impact, necessarily because I really think that it works that way 100% of the time (in some of the comments above you’ll see some discussion about the ‘meme’ theory of reproduction and some other really good comments, as well). I do think that sexuality plays a major roll in how people go through their lives, though, and if you really sit back and think about it, you’ll probably realize the same is true about yourself.

    Thanks for the kind words about the title!

    And thanks to everyone for the great comments! I love it when we can get this kind of discussion going. Super valuable for me and I hope it’s valuable for you, too!

  30. @Dave: Very well said, Dave. You clearly have a very solid understanding of the concept!

    @Kristin: Haha, well I’m glad I could impact my readers on multiple levels :) Your argument has merit, certainly, but I would retort that anything that’s done to flirt still has evolutionary roots…the intent is the same, but the actions themselves adapt with whatever is appropriate (or in some cases, inappropriate!) for that time and place. What is scandalous flirting for an Amish person in the Midwest might come across as very tame or not flirting at all to an agnostic college student in Jersey.

    @Jonny: Haha, another good point. Absolutes are dangerous, and I presented this post as I did to make an impact, necessarily because I really think that it works that way 100% of the time (in some of the comments above you’ll see some discussion about the ‘meme’ theory of reproduction and some other really good comments, as well). I do think that sexuality plays a major roll in how people go through their lives, though, and if you really sit back and think about it, you’ll probably realize the same is true about yourself.

    Thanks for the kind words about the title!

    And thanks to everyone for the great comments! I love it when we can get this kind of discussion going. Super valuable for me and I hope it’s valuable for you, too!

  31. @Dave: Very well said, Dave. You clearly have a very solid understanding of the concept!

    @Kristin: Haha, well I’m glad I could impact my readers on multiple levels :) Your argument has merit, certainly, but I would retort that anything that’s done to flirt still has evolutionary roots…the intent is the same, but the actions themselves adapt with whatever is appropriate (or in some cases, inappropriate!) for that time and place. What is scandalous flirting for an Amish person in the Midwest might come across as very tame or not flirting at all to an agnostic college student in Jersey.

    @Jonny: Haha, another good point. Absolutes are dangerous, and I presented this post as I did to make an impact, necessarily because I really think that it works that way 100% of the time (in some of the comments above you’ll see some discussion about the ‘meme’ theory of reproduction and some other really good comments, as well). I do think that sexuality plays a major roll in how people go through their lives, though, and if you really sit back and think about it, you’ll probably realize the same is true about yourself.

    Thanks for the kind words about the title!

    And thanks to everyone for the great comments! I love it when we can get this kind of discussion going. Super valuable for me and I hope it’s valuable for you, too!

  32. @Dave: Very well said, Dave. You clearly have a very solid understanding of the concept!

    @Kristin: Haha, well I’m glad I could impact my readers on multiple levels :) Your argument has merit, certainly, but I would retort that anything that’s done to flirt still has evolutionary roots…the intent is the same, but the actions themselves adapt with whatever is appropriate (or in some cases, inappropriate!) for that time and place. What is scandalous flirting for an Amish person in the Midwest might come across as very tame or not flirting at all to an agnostic college student in Jersey.

    @Jonny: Haha, another good point. Absolutes are dangerous, and I presented this post as I did to make an impact, necessarily because I really think that it works that way 100% of the time (in some of the comments above you’ll see some discussion about the ‘meme’ theory of reproduction and some other really good comments, as well). I do think that sexuality plays a major roll in how people go through their lives, though, and if you really sit back and think about it, you’ll probably realize the same is true about yourself.

    Thanks for the kind words about the title!

    And thanks to everyone for the great comments! I love it when we can get this kind of discussion going. Super valuable for me and I hope it’s valuable for you, too!

  33. Nice banana, Colin.:-)

    I think it is a good reminder that we are all fundamentally… animals. Some more so than others. :-)

    It is not only sex, though. I think of it as the triumvirate of “Eat, Shit, Fuck” Those are all things that we all need to do in varying degrees to exist. Modern society has added a fourth and that is “SHOP.” Unfortunately, this last one is how most people spend their lives.

  34. Nice banana, Colin.:-)

    I think it is a good reminder that we are all fundamentally… animals. Some more so than others. :-)

    It is not only sex, though. I think of it as the triumvirate of “Eat, Shit, Fuck” Those are all things that we all need to do in varying degrees to exist. Modern society has added a fourth and that is “SHOP.” Unfortunately, this last one is how most people spend their lives.

  35. Nice banana, Colin.:-)

    I think it is a good reminder that we are all fundamentally… animals. Some more so than others. :-)

    It is not only sex, though. I think of it as the triumvirate of “Eat, Shit, Fuck” Those are all things that we all need to do in varying degrees to exist. Modern society has added a fourth and that is “SHOP.” Unfortunately, this last one is how most people spend their lives.

  36. Nice banana, Colin.:-)

    I think it is a good reminder that we are all fundamentally… animals. Some more so than others. :-)

    It is not only sex, though. I think of it as the triumvirate of “Eat, Shit, Fuck” Those are all things that we all need to do in varying degrees to exist. Modern society has added a fourth and that is “SHOP.” Unfortunately, this last one is how most people spend their lives.

  37. Amusing post Colin and some great comments from the community.

    I wouldn’t peg it all to sex. I think it is broader than that. I think that we want to leave a part of ourselves in the world, but that can just as easily be a piece of art, a piece of music, a scientific invention.

    We don’t need to make babies. In fact, we *really* don’t need to make babies – the growth of the world’s population should be a real cause for concern. But that’s another story…

  38. Amusing post Colin and some great comments from the community.

    I wouldn’t peg it all to sex. I think it is broader than that. I think that we want to leave a part of ourselves in the world, but that can just as easily be a piece of art, a piece of music, a scientific invention.

    We don’t need to make babies. In fact, we *really* don’t need to make babies – the growth of the world’s population should be a real cause for concern. But that’s another story…

  39. Amusing post Colin and some great comments from the community.

    I wouldn’t peg it all to sex. I think it is broader than that. I think that we want to leave a part of ourselves in the world, but that can just as easily be a piece of art, a piece of music, a scientific invention.

    We don’t need to make babies. In fact, we *really* don’t need to make babies – the growth of the world’s population should be a real cause for concern. But that’s another story…

  40. Amusing post Colin and some great comments from the community.

    I wouldn’t peg it all to sex. I think it is broader than that. I think that we want to leave a part of ourselves in the world, but that can just as easily be a piece of art, a piece of music, a scientific invention.

    We don’t need to make babies. In fact, we *really* don’t need to make babies – the growth of the world’s population should be a real cause for concern. But that’s another story…

  41. First off, that picture made my day I laughed so hard.

    I really like the point of this post. It is so important to understand why we do things. It can really expose some truth and help in a lot of decision making. Yet another great post, man. Keep it up.

  42. First off, that picture made my day I laughed so hard.

    I really like the point of this post. It is so important to understand why we do things. It can really expose some truth and help in a lot of decision making. Yet another great post, man. Keep it up.

  43. First off, that picture made my day I laughed so hard.

    I really like the point of this post. It is so important to understand why we do things. It can really expose some truth and help in a lot of decision making. Yet another great post, man. Keep it up.

  44. @John: Ah man, now I’m regretting not naming this post ‘EAT, SHIT, FUCK’…definitely would have grabbed some attention!

    @Gubernatrix: It’s true, and this is what a few other people have gotten in to with their comments regarding memes. Society has definitely complicated the biological imperative (like it has done to so many other things), so it shouldn’t be surprising that all of a sudden creating the cotton gin could make Eli Whitney more famous than having babies (which I presume he did, but don’t know for sure).

    @Nate: Haha, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Had that gem sitting around on an old hard drive and when I scrolled past it I thought ‘Ope, that’s the one!’

  45. @John: Ah man, now I’m regretting not naming this post ‘EAT, SHIT, FUCK’…definitely would have grabbed some attention!

    @Gubernatrix: It’s true, and this is what a few other people have gotten in to with their comments regarding memes. Society has definitely complicated the biological imperative (like it has done to so many other things), so it shouldn’t be surprising that all of a sudden creating the cotton gin could make Eli Whitney more famous than having babies (which I presume he did, but don’t know for sure).

    @Nate: Haha, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Had that gem sitting around on an old hard drive and when I scrolled past it I thought ‘Ope, that’s the one!’

  46. This may be why I hate teaching. It is hard to think about elementary students and sex at the same time.

  47. This may be why I hate teaching. It is hard to think about elementary students and sex at the same time.

  48. This may be why I hate teaching. It is hard to think about elementary students and sex at the same time.

  49. This may be why I hate teaching. It is hard to think about elementary students and sex at the same time.

  50. @Colin – This is my first read on Exile Lifestyle. I found your blog simultaneous via Carlos Miceli (@CarlosMic) and the fact that it was voted #7 on my Top 10 Gen Y Blog list for the month of October.

    Glad I stumbled on an interesting read from the onset. While understanding the motive behind our actions is certainly important, I suspect it starts before that for a lot of people, particularly our peers. I’d venture that more than half the people on this planet of ours have clue what they want to do with their lives; maybe that’s while animal instinct typically wins out.

    Looking forward to getting more acquainted with your work!

  51. @Colin – This is my first read on Exile Lifestyle. I found your blog simultaneous via Carlos Miceli (@CarlosMic) and the fact that it was voted #7 on my Top 10 Gen Y Blog list for the month of October.

    Glad I stumbled on an interesting read from the onset. While understanding the motive behind our actions is certainly important, I suspect it starts before that for a lot of people, particularly our peers. I’d venture that more than half the people on this planet of ours have clue what they want to do with their lives; maybe that’s while animal instinct typically wins out.

    Looking forward to getting more acquainted with your work!

  52. @Colin – This is my first read on Exile Lifestyle. I found your blog simultaneous via Carlos Miceli (@CarlosMic) and the fact that it was voted #7 on my Top 10 Gen Y Blog list for the month of October.

    Glad I stumbled on an interesting read from the onset. While understanding the motive behind our actions is certainly important, I suspect it starts before that for a lot of people, particularly our peers. I’d venture that more than half the people on this planet of ours have clue what they want to do with their lives; maybe that’s while animal instinct typically wins out.

    Looking forward to getting more acquainted with your work!

  53. @Colin – This is my first read on Exile Lifestyle. I found your blog simultaneous via Carlos Miceli (@CarlosMic) and the fact that it was voted #7 on my Top 10 Gen Y Blog list for the month of October.

    Glad I stumbled on an interesting read from the onset. While understanding the motive behind our actions is certainly important, I suspect it starts before that for a lot of people, particularly our peers. I’d venture that more than half the people on this planet of ours have clue what they want to do with their lives; maybe that’s while animal instinct typically wins out.

    Looking forward to getting more acquainted with your work!

  54. As a fellow guitar player, I thoroughly agree with you on all fronts.

    As an idealist, I’d also like to think that the satisfaction of becoming something great is as inherent in our DNA as the satisfaction of reproduction – all to pursue a great self for the greater world.

    As a man, did the post get you laid yet? Was she hot?

    Haha, great post – glad I found your blog!

    Gabe

  55. As a fellow guitar player, I thoroughly agree with you on all fronts.

    As an idealist, I’d also like to think that the satisfaction of becoming something great is as inherent in our DNA as the satisfaction of reproduction – all to pursue a great self for the greater world.

    As a man, did the post get you laid yet? Was she hot?

    Haha, great post – glad I found your blog!

    Gabe

  56. As a fellow guitar player, I thoroughly agree with you on all fronts.

    As an idealist, I’d also like to think that the satisfaction of becoming something great is as inherent in our DNA as the satisfaction of reproduction – all to pursue a great self for the greater world.

    As a man, did the post get you laid yet? Was she hot?

    Haha, great post – glad I found your blog!

    Gabe

  57. @Vanessa: I imagine that is quite difficult! Have you read ‘Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex’ by Judith Levine? Really solid read if you get the chance (one of those books that had a hard time finding a publisher because the contents were “radioactive”…sending children to war is fine by most people, I guess, but heaven forbid we should teach them that sex is not something to be ashamed of!).

    @Ryan: Hey Ryan, thanks for dropping by! I’m a big fan of your blog, and I was thrilled to be on your Top Ten Gen Y Blog list for October…lots of great people up there, and you’re doing a hell of a job running it.

    I agree that most people don’t have any idea of what their motivations are (which was the original inspiration for this post, actually), but by being aware of what those motivations are, an individual can lead a much more target, enthusiastic life (instead of just living instinctively, as it were).

    @Gabe: That’s a very good point, and if this is the case (that we get satisfaction from achievement, not just the pursuit of reproduction) I would imagine that it’s derived from that original need to pass on the DNA, though it is quite possible that it’s moved on since then (we don’t have a super-long evolutionary history as agricultural humans, but that’s something that could have started earlier). At the same time, tracing it backward still leads to the same place. Such simple creatures these humans are :)

    Haha, unfortunately I haven’t gotten any action as a result of this post; guess I need to get out more! My pickup line: “So, have you read my blog?” Works every time!

  58. @Vanessa: I imagine that is quite difficult! Have you read ‘Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex’ by Judith Levine? Really solid read if you get the chance (one of those books that had a hard time finding a publisher because the contents were “radioactive”…sending children to war is fine by most people, I guess, but heaven forbid we should teach them that sex is not something to be ashamed of!).

    @Ryan: Hey Ryan, thanks for dropping by! I’m a big fan of your blog, and I was thrilled to be on your Top Ten Gen Y Blog list for October…lots of great people up there, and you’re doing a hell of a job running it.

    I agree that most people don’t have any idea of what their motivations are (which was the original inspiration for this post, actually), but by being aware of what those motivations are, an individual can lead a much more target, enthusiastic life (instead of just living instinctively, as it were).

    @Gabe: That’s a very good point, and if this is the case (that we get satisfaction from achievement, not just the pursuit of reproduction) I would imagine that it’s derived from that original need to pass on the DNA, though it is quite possible that it’s moved on since then (we don’t have a super-long evolutionary history as agricultural humans, but that’s something that could have started earlier). At the same time, tracing it backward still leads to the same place. Such simple creatures these humans are :)

    Haha, unfortunately I haven’t gotten any action as a result of this post; guess I need to get out more! My pickup line: “So, have you read my blog?” Works every time!

  59. @Vanessa: I imagine that is quite difficult! Have you read ‘Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex’ by Judith Levine? Really solid read if you get the chance (one of those books that had a hard time finding a publisher because the contents were “radioactive”…sending children to war is fine by most people, I guess, but heaven forbid we should teach them that sex is not something to be ashamed of!).

    @Ryan: Hey Ryan, thanks for dropping by! I’m a big fan of your blog, and I was thrilled to be on your Top Ten Gen Y Blog list for October…lots of great people up there, and you’re doing a hell of a job running it.

    I agree that most people don’t have any idea of what their motivations are (which was the original inspiration for this post, actually), but by being aware of what those motivations are, an individual can lead a much more target, enthusiastic life (instead of just living instinctively, as it were).

    @Gabe: That’s a very good point, and if this is the case (that we get satisfaction from achievement, not just the pursuit of reproduction) I would imagine that it’s derived from that original need to pass on the DNA, though it is quite possible that it’s moved on since then (we don’t have a super-long evolutionary history as agricultural humans, but that’s something that could have started earlier). At the same time, tracing it backward still leads to the same place. Such simple creatures these humans are :)

    Haha, unfortunately I haven’t gotten any action as a result of this post; guess I need to get out more! My pickup line: “So, have you read my blog?” Works every time!

  60. @Vanessa: I imagine that is quite difficult! Have you read ‘Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex’ by Judith Levine? Really solid read if you get the chance (one of those books that had a hard time finding a publisher because the contents were “radioactive”…sending children to war is fine by most people, I guess, but heaven forbid we should teach them that sex is not something to be ashamed of!).

    @Ryan: Hey Ryan, thanks for dropping by! I’m a big fan of your blog, and I was thrilled to be on your Top Ten Gen Y Blog list for October…lots of great people up there, and you’re doing a hell of a job running it.

    I agree that most people don’t have any idea of what their motivations are (which was the original inspiration for this post, actually), but by being aware of what those motivations are, an individual can lead a much more target, enthusiastic life (instead of just living instinctively, as it were).

    @Gabe: That’s a very good point, and if this is the case (that we get satisfaction from achievement, not just the pursuit of reproduction) I would imagine that it’s derived from that original need to pass on the DNA, though it is quite possible that it’s moved on since then (we don’t have a super-long evolutionary history as agricultural humans, but that’s something that could have started earlier). At the same time, tracing it backward still leads to the same place. Such simple creatures these humans are :)

    Haha, unfortunately I haven’t gotten any action as a result of this post; guess I need to get out more! My pickup line: “So, have you read my blog?” Works every time!

  61. Hey Colin…

    Awesome draw. I couldn’t NOT click on the link to this article.

    It is refreshing to hear the same thing from another person. I have been saying this FOREVER. We do almost everything for sex. Sure it may come a long way down the road but definitely true.

    Thanks for sharing

    Dave Damron
    LifeExcursion

  62. Hey Colin…

    Awesome draw. I couldn’t NOT click on the link to this article.

    It is refreshing to hear the same thing from another person. I have been saying this FOREVER. We do almost everything for sex. Sure it may come a long way down the road but definitely true.

    Thanks for sharing

    Dave Damron
    LifeExcursion

  63. Hey Colin…

    Awesome draw. I couldn’t NOT click on the link to this article.

    It is refreshing to hear the same thing from another person. I have been saying this FOREVER. We do almost everything for sex. Sure it may come a long way down the road but definitely true.

    Thanks for sharing

    Dave Damron
    LifeExcursion

  64. Hey Colin…

    Awesome draw. I couldn’t NOT click on the link to this article.

    It is refreshing to hear the same thing from another person. I have been saying this FOREVER. We do almost everything for sex. Sure it may come a long way down the road but definitely true.

    Thanks for sharing

    Dave Damron
    LifeExcursion

  65. Pingback: EPIC SELF | Self Improvement, Wellness, Health, Fitness, Motivation, Green Living » Blog Archive » My Google Reader

  66. Lovely.

    I’ve actually thought about some of these concepts, or at least been exposed to them before. But I love the way you really brought it together so coherently. Yay for making babies.

    Though honestly, there are enough babies out there already. Hm. Back to the drawing board!

  67. Lovely.

    I’ve actually thought about some of these concepts, or at least been exposed to them before. But I love the way you really brought it together so coherently. Yay for making babies.

    Though honestly, there are enough babies out there already. Hm. Back to the drawing board!

  68. Lovely.

    I’ve actually thought about some of these concepts, or at least been exposed to them before. But I love the way you really brought it together so coherently. Yay for making babies.

    Though honestly, there are enough babies out there already. Hm. Back to the drawing board!

  69. Lovely.

    I’ve actually thought about some of these concepts, or at least been exposed to them before. But I love the way you really brought it together so coherently. Yay for making babies.

    Though honestly, there are enough babies out there already. Hm. Back to the drawing board!

  70. I’m currently busting my ass on learning drawing by myself. Anatomy, perspective, colour theory and so on.

    And I can tell you this: I’ve never, ever had a girlfriend. And I don’t want one. I do not intend to get married either.

    My motivation is simple. I am ashamed of my life and where I have ended up. I don’t have any accomplishments that I can be proud of.

    I want something that I can call my own. I want to get better and better at my craft so that I can eventually get ranked near or at the top.

    Sex doesn’t even enter into the picture. I need only enough money for survival and retirement.

    I would also like to relearn science (specifically in generation of energy) so that I can do research someday in the future, but I won’t give up my goal because of it.

    That is all. Not to be rich, not to get laid, simply to gain recognition that I am doing good work.

  71. I’m currently busting my ass on learning drawing by myself. Anatomy, perspective, colour theory and so on.

    And I can tell you this: I’ve never, ever had a girlfriend. And I don’t want one. I do not intend to get married either.

    My motivation is simple. I am ashamed of my life and where I have ended up. I don’t have any accomplishments that I can be proud of.

    I want something that I can call my own. I want to get better and better at my craft so that I can eventually get ranked near or at the top.

    Sex doesn’t even enter into the picture. I need only enough money for survival and retirement.

    I would also like to relearn science (specifically in generation of energy) so that I can do research someday in the future, but I won’t give up my goal because of it.

    That is all. Not to be rich, not to get laid, simply to gain recognition that I am doing good work.

  72. I’m currently busting my ass on learning drawing by myself. Anatomy, perspective, colour theory and so on.

    And I can tell you this: I’ve never, ever had a girlfriend. And I don’t want one. I do not intend to get married either.

    My motivation is simple. I am ashamed of my life and where I have ended up. I don’t have any accomplishments that I can be proud of.

    I want something that I can call my own. I want to get better and better at my craft so that I can eventually get ranked near or at the top.

    Sex doesn’t even enter into the picture. I need only enough money for survival and retirement.

    I would also like to relearn science (specifically in generation of energy) so that I can do research someday in the future, but I won’t give up my goal because of it.

    That is all. Not to be rich, not to get laid, simply to gain recognition that I am doing good work.

  73. I’m currently busting my ass on learning drawing by myself. Anatomy, perspective, colour theory and so on.

    And I can tell you this: I’ve never, ever had a girlfriend. And I don’t want one. I do not intend to get married either.

    My motivation is simple. I am ashamed of my life and where I have ended up. I don’t have any accomplishments that I can be proud of.

    I want something that I can call my own. I want to get better and better at my craft so that I can eventually get ranked near or at the top.

    Sex doesn’t even enter into the picture. I need only enough money for survival and retirement.

    I would also like to relearn science (specifically in generation of energy) so that I can do research someday in the future, but I won’t give up my goal because of it.

    That is all. Not to be rich, not to get laid, simply to gain recognition that I am doing good work.

  74. Pingback: Beards Versus Snake Oil | Exile Lifestyle

  75. Yeah, starting a blog for me, was like guitar for you. It really just blurred out the pain of other things. Great post man. I noticed it’s old, but still, great post.

  76. And this is why practicing celibacy or brahmacharya is a prerequisite for a serious spiritual undertaking. Because this drive fuels attachment to action and action results in being bound to expecting the fruits. And it is only ego that expects fruits and wants to perpetuate itself. Ego is the primary function to perpetuating humanity. In order to take that quantum leap in consciousness, this desire be shattered.

  77. Fun post and point, and I’m glad you keep sharing the older stuff from the archives so us newer followers can get easy access to it.  

    Now that I’m on the other side of the equation, doing what I love (travel blogging) I can wholeheartedly say it makes attracting ladies a lot easier then when I was working as a customer service manager for an insurance company (an experience I’m proud of, but nonetheless lacks the appeal of  travel writer / digital entrepreneur). 

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