I turn 38 this weekend, and as tends to be the case every year I’ve been wrangling over whether to instill the day with additional meaning (beyond the accolade of having survived another orbit around the sun).

My inclination is to shape my life so that there are plenty of peaks and valleys, but to also invest in both practical and philosophical salves for most of what life might throw at me (slowly accumulated savings and a AAA membership, but also a “go with the flow” default stance and a reflex for reminding myself of the big picture any time I start to feel down or defeated).

I’m also inclined, though, to look for opportunities for milestone-marking, adopting any holiday I hear about and jumping at the chance to mark time and upend my typical day-to-day expectations and rhythms.

One consistent habit I’ve maintained in the weeks surrounding my birthday (I find the day itself usually isn’t the most ideal for this, for whatever reason) is to sit down and take stock, make sure I’m headed someplace I want to be, and ensure I’m finding some flavor of happiness, fulfillment, and challenge-sparked growth where I’m at right now.

And I’m fortunate to be able to report that according to both metrics, at this moment, I’m feeling pretty good.

There are plenty of frictions and stressors in my life, lots of fresh and persistent variables that threaten to upset aspects of how I do things (and how I’d like to be doing things) that I’m slowly but surely (and with a confident sort of uncertainty) addressing.

I’m experimenting and shuffling my lifestyle deck.

I’m learning a lot every single day, and occupying myself with enjoyable work and tasks laden with adversities that push me just past my current comfort-zone.

I have people in my life who I love and who love me in return, and a staunch ambition to expand my social horizons beyond their pandemic-era shape and scale.

I feel incredibly fortunate on so many levels, and that good fortune has grown from an odd, me-shaped jumble of elements that I find satisfying, but which also motivates me to keep playing, trying, fumbling and juggling, and rearranging the puzzle pieces rather than worriedly gluing them into place.

I’m looking forward to whatever this next year brings; thank you so much for playing a role in shaping this last one.

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Also: here’s an AI-generated robo-Colin reading this essay, if you’re interested: