Probably Don’t

Social media is great for some purposes, but much of what the networks (or rather, the people running and managing them) want from me is not aligned with my priorities.

I don’t want to post more stuff, more aggressively.

I don’t want to share every aspect of my life.

I don’t want to “pivot to video.”

I don’t want to stay glued to my screen all day, every day.

I don’t want to “create more content” for their platform so they can monetarily benefit from my (free) labor.

There are use-cases for social media that I find appealing: connecting with folks I wouldn’t otherwise meet, staying in touch with distant friends, sharing things I think are cool or that I want to see signal-boosted.

But the majority of nudges from these networks are aimed in directions I don’t want to go.

I’ve mostly been able to keep myself from going with the algorithm-defined frictionless flow, thus far, and maintained my (more frictionful, but more fulfilling to me) path.

Something that’s helped me in this regard is what I think of as my “Probably Don’t” policy.

If I find myself wanting to post something, publish something, tweet or Insta or otherwise push “content” into the world, I ask myself if it will create signal or noise: something valuable, or just more of the same hubbub.

If the latter, and it’s almost always the latter, I default to “probably don’t.”

Let’s not share that. Delete the tweet. Don’t post the photo or story, just let it be. Do something else.

It’s tricky to quantify how much stress this has dispersed from what might otherwise become a pressure-cooker sense of daily responsibility, and it’s almost embarrassing to admit how much freer I feel lacking that default assumption of content-production duties and deadlines.

This is the opposite of another policy to which I typically adhere while traveling (or socializing more generally), which is to (within reason) say “yes” to opportunities and offers even if I don’t think I’ll enjoy the concert or food or visit to some obscure monument.

Such opportunities often (if not always) lead someplace interesting, and in some rare cases have resulted in lifelong friendships, perspective-changing experiences, or exposure to some new favorite dish or music I would otherwise be unlikely to encounter.

This pair of policies, I find, translate to other aspects of life, as well.

Do I need to buy that new whatever?

If there’s really a question about whether I need it, I probably don’t.

Instead, I try to free up those resources for stuff I actually want (or want to do) so I can be both willing and in the position to say “yes” to such things more often.

Reminding ourselves of our true priorities and responsibilities—and being able and willing to step back from the stuff that might otherwise soak up all of our time and attention (like, but not exclusively, social media posting and perusing)—frees up more time, energy, and resources for the most vital things.

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