At the reading group I run every Sunday, our loose rhythm is to meet up, chit-chat for a bit, and then go around the table and have everyone say something about the book they brought to read. We then read in companionable silence for about an hour before repeating the process in reverse (talk about the book, then chit-chat).
The “here’s what I’m reading” component is intentional, as it ensures everyone has the chance to speak. Which is great for those of us who are always on the lookout for new reads because we’re introduced to a bunch of fresh titles on a weekly basis, complete with near real-time commentary on them. But I initially formalized the “go around the table” method (rather than just having folks speak up if they want) as an excuse to ensure conversation isn’t dominated by the most naturally outgoing and gregarious, and this has helped even the most introverted members feel comfortable sharing.
The group itself is also an excuse for many attendees to get out and socialize on a regular basis. Working from home, I know for a fact that I’m perfectly capable of accidentally isolating myself, only realizing weeks into a period of extreme hermiting that it’s been a while since I spoke to another human in person. The same is true of the D&D and board game meetups I attend: the shared experience (playing the games) is part of why I love these sorts of events, but spending time with other people, including people my work and normal lifestyle wouldn’t normal put me in touch with, is the more foundational reward.
Sometimes the things we do are partly or mostly excuses to do (or accomplish) other things. It’s 100% possible to just call up some other human being and say, “Hey, let’s hang out in person,” but it’s much easier to orchestrate such hang-outs on a regular basis, as adults who have a million other competing priorities and variables, when you create a compelling justification. We’re reading and talking about books, we’re playing games together.
One nice side-benefit of this excuse-based model of socializing is that you may find yourself connecting with people you wouldn’t necessarily encounter or feel an immediate kinship with, lacking that pretext. You’ll likely develop a stronger connection as you get more comfortable with each other (while bowling or knitting or whatever else), but those sorts of relational sparks can be difficult to come by outside of work and school settings, which is why these sorts of excuses can be so valuable, especially if you’re looking to expand your friend group.
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