We can worry about rot and horribleness and still tend a beautiful garden.

I try to remember this when I feel myself drifting into a helpless “what’s the point, everything sucks” mindset.

There are a lot of things in the world that I think should change and that I’m not in the position to directly address. But there are things I can do in my own life, for and with people I know, for and with my neighbors, for and with things and spaces and ideas I think are important.

My reach and capacity aren’t infinite, but there actions I can take to make things more pleasant for myself and others without detracting from my ability to also do big, important things (like, for instance, vote) when the opportunity arises.

I can add a fresh coat of paint to the walls. I can light a calming, cozy candle. I can be around people I like and carve out time in my day for activities that fuel me.

It’s not much, but it keeps my battery charged, which can then empower me to help others charge-up, as well.

There’s a concept in therapy, “opposite action,” that says when we’re feeling down it sometimes makes more sense to do the opposite of what we feel like doing in our gut, because negative feelings can bias us toward further emotional dysregulation, rather than balance: wanting to listen to sad music when we feel sad, for instance, even though such music can push us further into despair.

That’s not always the case, of course, but especially when the feelings are big, and especially when they’re connected or adjacent to a sense of helplessness or purposelessness, leaning into those negative feelings rather than countering them can prolong that pessimistic, defeatist valence, which can then spark and feed a downward spiral and accompanying lack of positive action.

Tiny efforts in the opposite direction, though, can serve as frictions, as speed bumps that slow our plummet just enough that it’s a wee bit easier to remember the good in the world, recognize our capacity to change our circumstances (even if only in the smallest ways), and maybe even do some of the same for others at moments when they could truly benefit from a friendly face and helping hand.

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