Exile Lifestyle

A whole lot of what we do—probably more than we’d care to admit, even to ourselves—is the result of social signals, both received and sent. That’s the basic premise of signaling theory, at least. The idea is that we learn how…

Whatever work you do, you almost certainly rely on other entities for some aspect of the goods or services you provide. I rely on several platforms that help me distribute my writings and podcasts, for instance, while folks who work…

Being able to persist through difficult times, tedious moments, and dark nights of the soul is important if you want to achieve any kind of long-term goal. That’s true whether you’re painting a mural, planning a big event, or raising…

Ideas tend to beget more ideas, but only if you spend the ones you accrue. It’s a nice feeling, having a good idea. But if you leave it in the tank, unutilized, it produces little value (beyond serving as a…

I will, at times, fail. And the more I push myself the more failure I’ll tally—so optimally I’m failing at things semi-regularly. That’s a tough pill to swallow, as no one (even someone who believes what I believe about the…

The difference between competence and confidence is that the former refers to one’s ability to do things and the latter refers to one’s belief in one’s ability to do things. These attributes often inform each other: if you’re competent, over…

When I’m trying to establish a new habit—working out each morning or freewriting for a few minutes each day, for instance—I try to set things up so that’s it easy to get started and keep getting started, over and over,…

At 40, a man living in the United States has used up more than half of his statistical years; the average man dies at around 75 years old in this country. That’s a lot of years! It’s not enough; I’d…

The things I’m most embarrassed to have done over the course of my life have almost universally been the result of self-consciousness. I’ve worked on this a lot over the years, and the aspects of myself that I’m most proud…

I’ve been feeling ambivalent about social media platforms these past few years, and part of that ambivalence has been the result of truly anti-user behavior by the folks who run the things. Cory Doctorow coined the term ‘enshittification’ to express…