The Weakest Me
When I’m trying to establish a new habit—working out each morning or freewriting for a few minutes each day, for instance—I try to set things up so that’s it easy to get started and keep getting started, over and over,…
Age 40
At 40, a man living in the United States has used up more than half of his statistical years; the average man dies at around 75 years old in this country. That’s a lot of years! It’s not enough; I’d…
Recognizing, Understanding, Fixing
The things I’m most embarrassed to have done over the course of my life have almost universally been the result of self-consciousness. I’ve worked on this a lot over the years, and the aspects of myself that I’m most proud…
Sharecropping
I’ve been feeling ambivalent about social media platforms these past few years, and part of that ambivalence has been the result of truly anti-user behavior by the folks who run the things. Cory Doctorow coined the term ‘enshittification’ to express…
Midlife Crises
Midlife crises can be annoying, cringe-inducing, and even hurtful (especially when they lead to income disruptions, breakups, and other things that impact folks beyond those having the crisis). At their core, though, these crossroad moments are often the result of…
First Drafts
I recently finished the first draft of a new book I’m working on (the initial entry in a new science-fiction trilogy I’m having an absolute ball writing). It feels good to be able to say that, 102,000 words (or so)…
Filling Potholes
Potholes are pits in asphalt surfaces (like roads) caused by a weakness in the underlying soil that’s been amplified by the weight and impact of traffic. This results in chunks of the road cracking or steadily eroding away, over time.…
Pre-Indexing
In linguistics, “indexing” means establishing things within the context of a conversation. So if I say “I” while chatting with you over coffee, you know I’m referring to myself. If you were to read the word “I” in a novel,…
Is This Productive?
Networks like Facebook and Instagram have increasingly oriented their services around their own, internal (mostly economic) goals, which as a result has made the experience of using them sub-par for those of us who aren’t super-keen on the idea of…
Validation
Validating another person’s feelings often just means listening when they tell you about something that’s wrong (or worrying them, or stressing them out) and then commiserating if appropriate. In my experience, folks who share such things are seldom looking for…